Bring adventure, mental and physical challenge, change, and calculated risk-taking into your life. I made “someday” happen. You can too. “Someday” it may be too late.
Somewhere, sometime, “someday” slips into our lives. Sometimes “someday” is restless, as in, “Someday I would like to travel to all seven continents.” Sometimes “someday” is bold and fearless—”Someday I want to climb mountains.” Sometimes “someday” is intellectual (learning a second language), athletic (windsurfing), or involves new motor skills (playing a musical instrument). “Someday,” I will do all the exciting, unusual, and venturesome things that have instilled awe in me and a sense of wonder since childhood.
Someday I will indulge my wanderlust and travel to exotic faraway places. For many of us, “someday” is elusive. We burn through the years of our lives with relentless toil and work. Our days belong to our families, our patients, our profession, our churches, and our communities; they are anything but “our” days. The inexorable passage of our days does not include the proverbial “someday.”
This is the personal epiphany of an obsessive-compulsive, workaholic, type-A personality physician who fortunately “got it” in time and spent 15 adrenaline-soaked, memory-producing years making “someday” happen. I bring this life mentoring and coaching to you as I look my 81st birthday in the face.
My message is perhaps most appropriate for physicians ages 40 to 65. Medical school, internship, residency, and the early years of establishing a medical practice are pretty much survival situations. Time and money are precious, and obligations to family and practice are dear. However, it’s never too early to draft a personal list of unique life experiences to do “someday.” With proper planning, even the young physician may be able to cross a few items off their life list.
The ideal time to make “someday” happen is that great ennui-inducing epoch called middle age. Without shaking things up, without indulging whim and passion, the middle third of our lives will morph into “muddle age.” The vagaries of health, our inevitable decrease in stamina, the certainty of death, and the uncertainty of lifespan make the deferment of making “someday” happen risky and injudicious.
The idea of creating a list of extraordinary things to do in your lifetime is not unique and has been written about extensively. Most commonly, this is referred to as a “bucket list,” as in things to do before I “kick the bucket.” Indeed, a Google search of “things to do before you die” lists 28,200 hits and various life list iterations up to hundreds of items long.
A urologist I know was my inspiration to get my act together. He frequently operated on the same day I did at North Kansas City Hospital. We’re roughly the same age. Shortly after we both turned 40, whenever I saw him and inquired what he was up to, the answers were esoterically diverse and uniquely spellbinding: windsurfing off the north shore of Venezuela, climbing mountains in the Americas and Europe, backpacking in Patagonia, living with a family in Mexico for a month to learn Spanish, and photographing exotic wildlife in Tanzania. You get the idea.
“And you, John? What have you been up to?” What could I say? The most exciting things in my plain vanilla life are income tax refunds and 40 percent off sales on outdoor paint. Again, you get the idea.
“Well, I went to the Amish festival in Jamesport and … ah … ummh … the crafts exhibit at Silver Dollar City.”
He was always gracious enough not to say, “Far out, John, you’re really living life on the edge.”
Eventually, I asked why he was doing all these things.
“We’re getting old; we’re not going to live forever. We’ve got to go for it with both hands and make these things happen. We’ve got the money; we can spare the time without shortchanging our practices and families. In another 10-15 years, we may not be able to physically do a lot of these adventures. Hell, we could even be dead. Just do it!”
Time, money, not living forever, getting old, going for it—I got it! I also would make “someday” happen.
Over the next several weeks, I cobbled together an extensive list of things I had longed to do “someday.” My athletic wife and I began to travel. We visited all seven continents. Not ones for constructing itineraries and logistics, we used the services of travel companies. Their trips were spectacular. For adventure travel to third-world and remote locations, we sought specialized travel agencies. Memorable days and marvelous months of high adventure followed.
For more than 15 years, I happily and enthusiastically whittled away at my life list and ticked off most items. Many of these adventures were shared with Becky, my wife of 57 years. Then the years of living dangerously came to an abrupt halt. My mother’s health failed, and I had to manage her affairs and look after her needs. After several years, she died. A son-in-law was diagnosed with a brain tumor. After several years, he also died. Becky, my former robust wife, age 79, is in poor health, and travel is impossible. Although I am in robust health for age 80, I could not run a block, whereas many times I’ve run a full marathon, 26.2 miles, without stopping. Yet, I am not bitter—I made “someday” happen.
I do not remember my 347th patient encounter, the 157,353rd, or my 6,782nd cataract surgical procedure. But I do remember the years of living dangerously. I remember in blazing Technicolor and Dolby sound when each “someday” became the here and now.
I urge you to formulate your own list. Bring change, adventure, mental rigor, physical challenge, and calculated risk-taking into your life. I made “someday” happen. You can too. “Someday” it may be too late. Carpe diem!
John C. Hagan III is an ophthalmologist.
