I’ve always been afraid of driving. My home is quite far away from my hospital, and for the past eight years, I’ve been traveling via Uber for my daily commute. I don’t have a good memory of roads, lanes, and streets, even in my own city. I just rely on the driver and Google Maps. This experience with Uber and online taxi services is comfortable for me for two reasons: first, I don’t have fixed duty hours, so I can call a cab whenever I want. Secondly, the taxi driver is not interested or judgmental at all about where I am going or at what time. His job is just to get me to my desired location and take his fare in the end.
Once my parents hired a car for me, and there was an elderly uncle who was the driver of this car. His sole duty was to pick me up from my home, drop me off at the hospital, and then bring me back in the evening. Whenever I got free from work and if I was a bit late, even by 5 to 10 minutes, his mood would sour. He would scold me every time for wasting his time. Sometimes I would ask him to drop me at my friend’s hostel in the evening. He would look at me in a suspicious manner as if I was committing a grave sin by not going home after sunset. I left this car after a month. But this experience traumatized me so much that I never hired another driver for even a month again in my life. My parents have accepted that I’ve grown independent. They have become accustomed to my schedule of never being home on time, and they trust me so much that they don’t even ask me about my whereabouts whenever I go out. But I love my freedom and independence so much that I am not willing to give it up at any cost.
I was enjoying my daily commute via Uber, but there came a time when petrol and diesel became really expensive due to the devaluation of the Pakistani currency and rising inflation. Doctors in residency do not earn a lot in Pakistan, and most of my monthly income was being spent just on my commute, which was becoming frustrating day by day. Then I found Bykea.
Bykea is a Pakistan-based mobility app that uses machine learning to empower city dwellers with affordable mobility. It offers ride-hailing, parcel delivery, payment services, and more through its motorbike network. But the problem is that even in the capital city, Islamabad, this service is mostly used by older people for traveling. This service is used to send a parcel via motorbike most of the time. It was a lot more affordable than Uber, and I felt overjoyed upon discovering it because I had to spend very little on my commute. I started booking Bykea and traveling by motorbikes every day. Initially, it was a bit uncomfortable because some riders made my journey miserable due to overspeeding. But after a few days, I got accustomed to riding on a bike. I even started enjoying the bike rides more than the taxi rides, maybe due to the adrenaline rush or maybe due to comparing the extremely costly fare of Uber to the very minimal cost of having a ride on Bykea.
I was a lot happier, but the people around me were not. They started asking me different questions, like why I ride a bike and how I even sit on it. Some people were uncomfortable seeing me riding on a bike with a different rider each day. Our people have nothing else to do except poke their noses into everyone’s matters and their life choices. Whenever a neighbor saw me on a bike, they started objecting and expressing their complaints to my mother to control me. I never paid attention to them, but the complaints became more intense every single day. Then I told my mother that whenever someone complains, just tell them, “Why don’t you take her to the hospital in your own car?” This answer gradually made people silent and mind their own business.
One day I got really late from my hospital, and it was 8 p.m. at night. I tried to book an Uber but couldn’t find any car in the vicinity of my hospital. So, I decided to book a ride via Bykea. Although I was a little afraid, I had no other option. The ride started, and the journey was really bumpy due to the darkness. After a few roads, the rider started talking to me. I have a habit of talking and reciprocating the conversations of even drivers because it prevents boredom, and sometimes I find it interesting because it gives me an idea of the psyche of different kinds of people in my society. The rider started telling me how he had a garment shop, and the inflation and political turmoil in the country influenced his business badly. He had to sell his shop and started riding this motorbike, although he was satisfied with this job. The journey was quite long, and he told me all about his life story and the details about his family. I don’t know what came into his mind that he started asking me questions now. He asked where I worked and in which department. Sometimes, when you’re spontaneous and expressive, it becomes difficult to lie. I told him the name of my hospital and the fact that I was working in oncology. His second question was, “Are you married?” Now, he was passing through a very dark alley, and it was quite late at night. I became really frightened, and I just answered him, “Yes, I have two kids.” His interview continued, and then he asked about my husband and where he was working. After the first lie, I became confident and just got familiar with how to answer him. I told him, without any hesitation, that yes, my husband is a doctor too, and he works in a so-and-so hospital. He then asked me about the ages of my children, and I told him that one was three years old and the other one was just six months old. He then started telling me that he is a single brother of 8 sisters and has a lot of nephews and nieces. He was experienced in raising kids and spending time with them. He started giving me tips on how to take care of young children and the things we need to have at different ages for their health and wellbeing. I was now really comfortable and enjoying the rest of my journey with him.
Since that day, I have memorized this script about my husband’s details, my children’s ages, and my own. I think it’s better to ride Bykea as a single girl than to be afraid of telling the other person that she is unmarried. Married females are just considered a little bit more secure and kind of more respectable in our society.
There are a lot of issues in our country regarding privacy. People around you are the first ones to give their opinion on your income, lifestyle, marriage, the way you dress, and even the mishaps in your life. A friend of mine, who herself is a palliative care physician, in her 40s and is single, got diagnosed with breast cancer. Throughout her treatment, she had to endure a lot of painful remarks from people who labeled her disease due to her marital status and the way she dressed. Nobody talked about or appreciated the way she was taking care of her elderly parents all on her own and even fighting bravely with a deadly disease while coming to work. She endured everyone’s remarks patiently, and thank God she was cured and is now living a happy life. But our people don’t spare you from their harsh and invalid remarks that scar your soul.
Many times, I think about leaving this country to get a better job abroad, but then I remember the part of being a member of this closely-knit community as well. Everything has its pros and cons. The perk of being in Pakistan is having family around you who support and nurture you till they are alive. Parents and grandparents are considered blessings for the household they are in. They are never sent to a nursing home. Our people have beautiful hearts when it comes to supporting their ailing family members and giving charity to the less fortunate. There is a concept of visiting the sick, kindness towards animals, and greeting everyone around you. In our religion, even smiling towards anyone is considered charity. We live in a society where feeding others is seen as a great fortune. Every other day, family members are invited for lunch or dinner. People get together over tea and exchange all kinds of problems and worries with their loved ones. I think even this is a form of therapy. If you go to the market close to your home and forget to bring cash, the shopkeeper will never hesitate to give you groceries on the promise that you will pay him next time. Hospitals still have wards where people not only take care of their own patients but also the person lying next to their bed. Our people form friendships easily and are willing to do everything for their friends. When friends go out for food, there is no concept of splitting the bill among everyone. There is always a generous friend who pays the whole bill.
Many doctors are leaving Pakistan to secure a better future and pursue a better lifestyle, but I fear they will always miss the values of our country and feel lonely. I’m not saying striving for a better future is wrong, but sometimes I am afraid of leaving my family behind. I fear the loneliness of staying in a place where you don’t get a chance to interact freely as you do in Pakistan. But people have to support their families, and not everyone is privileged to earn a good livelihood here. In life, we have to compromise on many things to find prosperity and a stable income. I pray that wherever my people are living, they find delight and pleasure in everything they do.
Damane Zehra is a radiation oncology resident in Pakistan.
