Teenage relationships are tough. The pressure cooker of high school leaves teenagers under constant scrutiny from their peers as they navigate attraction, rejection, and other complicated relationship dynamics. Hormones are running wild and big decisions loom on the horizon, like where to go to college and whether or not to try making a long-distance relationship work if your paths take you in different directions. And ‘90s teen horror is bursting with unhealthy relationships, where a secret admirer’s notes could signal the start of a new romance or a kidnapping plot in the works, which is the case in Jane McFann’s Be Mine (1994).
Be Mine looks and feels like a Valentine’s Day book: there are anonymous notes and roses, Bethany’s admirer leaves red heart-shaped stickers, and the cover features a heart-shaped box of chocolates. But it actually takes place in May–spring has sprung and high school graduation is looming. But February or not, love seems to be in the air. Bethany’s dad retired from the military a couple of years ago and this is the longest she has ever lived in any one place, though his consulting work takes him out of town on a pretty regular basis. Bethany’s mom died when she was young and it’s just her and her dad. Bethany’s independent and doesn’t get too worried about the usual teen drama, and her social circle is pretty limited. She does have a boyfriend named Starling who is kind, goofy, flirtatious, and respectful of her boundaries. Their relationship seems firmly built on friendship, mutual respect, and a lot of kidding around. Bethany is refreshingly pragmatic about her relationship with Starling. She likes him and they have a lot of fun together, and while “We haven’t actually exactly proclaimed our undying love for each other … we really do care about each other” (117). Bethany’s life doesn’t revolve around Starling, but she does get jealous when another girl from school, Jyl, tries to make a move on him.
Bethany and Starling do regular teenage stuff like study together and make out, but they also seem to have taken on caregiving roles for their history teacher Mr. Baldwin, who had a heart attack and is recovering at home. There’s a broadly sketched backstory about how Mr. Baldwin had his heart attack while he, Bethany, Starling, and a few other students were trapped in the high school during a snowstorm, which seems to have bonded the three of them together (though we never learn more about exactly what happened there). Mr. Baldwin is grumpy and bristles at their fussing over him, not wanting to hear their recommendations about how he should get some more exercise to start rebuilding his strength, or to eat the heart-healthy food they make him for dinner. But they keep coming back for more and one day, Bethany has the supremely bad idea to surprise Mr. Baldwin with a puppy from the local animal shelter, to keep him company and encourage him to get out of the house to take the dog for walks. (The least believable thing about this book is that this harebrained scheme actually—eventually—works, as the dog slowly grows on Mr. Baldwin, who names the puppy Wolfgang in honor of Mozart).
Between graduation, finals, and puppy-related hijinks, Bethany and Starling’s lives are complicated enough even before Bethany’s secret admirer starts making his presence known. First there are small signs, like heart-shaped stickers on the door of her locker at school. Bethany initially thinks it’s Starling being uncharacteristically romantic, but when he tells her it’s not him, she largely shrugs it off as no big deal and even enjoys it a little, thinking “the idea of somebody lusting after me from afar was flattering and fun. If it made Starling sweat a little, all the better” (76). But the heart-shaped sticker guy soon strikes again, this time leaving a series of the stickers on the glass pane of Bethany’s kitchen door. Bethany still isn’t too worried, but Starling is, telling her “I don’t like this … Anybody could know what locker you use at school, but who knows where you live?” (66). McFann makes it clear that Bethany DEFINITELY isn’t worried enough about all this weirdness, punctuating the book with occasional ruminations from Bethany’s stalker, featured in all caps, like his reflection that “I FEEL AS THOUGH I KNOW WHERE SHE IS EVEN WHEN SHE IS NOT WITHIN MY SIGHT. THERE IS A CONNECTION, AN ENERGY CENTERED IN HER THAT DRAWS ME TO HER, THAT ALLOWS ME TO SENSE HER” (58). His obsession soon grows possessive, as he says “I NEED TO SEE HER. I NEED TO HEAR THE SOUND OF HER VOICE AGAIN. I NEED TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS MINE IN EVERY WAY” (71). This insight into his thought processes gives readers a glimpse of just how unhinged he is and his fixation on Bethany. As far as he is concerned, there’s no doubt that they’ll be together, and any feelings or objections she might have are inconsequential.
This secret admirer keeps insinuating himself further into Bethany’s life, sending flowers to her house, getting her locker combination so he can open it and put a rose inside, and leaving heart-shaped stickers on the windshield of her car one afternoon while she’s at Mr. Baldwin’s house. Whoever this is is clearly following her movements at school, at home, and around town, familiar with her routines and able to get close to Bethany without her being aware of him. Even as his presence becomes increasingly pervasive—if invisible—Bethany still doesn’t think she has much to worry about, thinking to herself “this was all some big game” (161).
Starling is protective of Bethany and doesn’t think she’s taking this threat seriously enough, particularly when she sneaks off from a date with him at the library to go meet her secret admirer, curious to see who he is and what he wants, though the mystery guy doesn’t show and she’s left with nothing more than another bunch of heart-shaped stickers. When she finally does come to the realization that she might have a real problem on her hands, she remains independent, refusing to let Startling handle it for her. In an out-of-character act of machismo, he tells her “Bethany, can’t you just step back a little bit and let me handle this?” (156). He wants to be the hero, but this is a relationship paradigm that Bethany’s not having, telling him “This is my problem, and I’m going to be involved in solving it” (156). Starling’s plan involves taking a kind of method actor approach and putting himself in the position of Bethany’s stalker, figuring that if he’s keeping an eye on her from some unseen vantage point, he’ll have a good chance of spotting whoever’s doing the same thing. It’s not a great plan and one of its first steps is that Bethany and Starling have to pretend to publicly break up, so the mystery man won’t wonder why Starling’s not around anymore. This further complicates their already somewhat stressed relationship dynamics, what with Bethany’s stalker, Jyl’s aggressive interest in Starling, and their quasi-coparenting of their history teacher, and also leaves Bethany alone more often that is ideal, but it’s the plan they go with nonetheless.
As a result, Bethany is home alone on graduation day, with Starling out of sight and her dad out of town on a business trip, when she wakes up to find another red heart-shaped sticker … this time on her bathroom mirror. Frozen in terror, she mentally considers all of her options, from running outside as fast as she can to barricading herself in her bedroom and calling Starling and the police. Bethany is finally afraid, as “My mind whirled in circles. Call. Run. Red hearts” (187). But her realization of the danger is too little, too late: her “admirer” is already in her room and even if she could find another safe place in the house, he has cut the phone lines. Still wearing just the oversized T-shirt she slept in, Bethany runs out of her house. As she flees for her life, she thinks that “The outside world looked deceptively normal. Sunshine, birds, hot steps against my bare feet. I was off at a run. I didn’t know where I was going, but I was getting as far away from here as I could” (190). Bethany runs, screams, and calls for help, but no one intervenes or comes to her rescue, and when her pursuer catches up with her, he says that’s the “Nice thing about suburban neighborhoods … Everybody’s either at work or minding his own business” (196). So there’s no one to see or stop him as he forces Bethany to accompany him to an empty house.
And when she’s finally face-to-face with this mystery man … she has no idea who he is. No flash of recognition. No “I have seen that guy around, now that I think of it.” He’s just some anonymous guy. Bethany’s first impression of him is that “He was about six feet tall with close-cut dark hair, jeans, and a black T-shirt. He was actually really good-looking, not at all demented-looking or disfigured or anything” (191). His instability and the danger Bethany’s in soon become apparent, however, as he lays out his master plan for the rest of their lives together: he tells her that she’s beautiful and perfect and being with her will fix everything that’s wrong in his life. As Bethany keeps him talking, she finds out that he has been pushed to this breaking point because he failed his chemistry class. This sounds ridiculous (and it is), but it turns out that his parents have put all of their hopes and expectations on him becoming a doctor, and if he can’t pass chemistry, those dreams are shot. While this is stressful enough, the weight of their expectations is compounded by the fact that his smart, scientifically-inclined brother Justin died of bone cancer when he was seven years old. Bethany’s stalker is supposed to live the life that his brother never got the chance to, though he can never live up to his dead brother’s memory. He works hard and is successful, “but he never had measured up … He was smart, a good student, a fine athlete. But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t first. Justin would have been. He wasn’t naturally gifted in math and science. Justin was” (229).
As he tells her about his accomplishments and how hard he has worked, Bethany finally figures out where their paths have crossed: he went to the same high school she goes to and graduated a year ahead of her. As she puts the pieces together, she also recognizes his name: “Brent Powell … I’d heard it on intercom announcements, maybe, or seen it in the school newspaper” (215) when he was recognized for various awards and accomplishments. She heard his name and maybe even saw his face, but he made no impression. When he returned to the high school to pick up a letter of recommendation, he saw Bethany in the hall in a chance encounter of which she remained completely unaware. This was all it took for Brent to become obsessed with her, sure that Bethany was the answer to all his problems.
Bethany listens to his story and while Brent’s plan is to kidnap her and take her away to some undisclosed location where they can be alone, she very calmly tells him “I have to go” (232), walking slowly towards the door. He begs her to stay and pulls out a gun, but when she continues to leave, he doesn’t shoot her, and she walks out of the house, where she finds Starling and Wolfgang, who has tracked her scent (he is a very impressive puppy). While this would seem to signal the end of the nightmare, Bethany finds that she can’t leave Brent behind, certain that he intends to use the gun on himself. She wrestles with what to do, knowing she should “Get out of here. Go to the police. Finish this once and for all … but another part of me said no. That part of me said that I’d never be able to live with what was going to happen” (235). Against her better judgement, she goes back into the empty house, up the stairs, and into the bedroom where Brent still sits, with the gun in his hand, fully aware that this is a truly terrible plan. She tries to reason with him and lunges for the gun, but it’s Wolfgang who is the real lifesaver when he comes bolting through the door. As Bethany thinks over these fateful seconds, “If [Brent] had really wanted to, he probably would have had time to shoot either me or himself, but he didn’t. His eyes were glued to the bundle of fur that hurtled through the door and leaped against my legs” (238). The police show up, Brent is taken into custody, and Starling and Bethany make it just in time for graduation, though Bethany’s bloody, covered with dirt, and still wearing her pajama shirt.
There’s little resolution to be had: they graduate, but where they go next and what life looks like after this is a mystery. Getting Mr. Baldwin a puppy and springing it on him against his repeated, surly protestations was a supremely bad idea, but this terrible decision is justified through Wolfgang’s heroism in finding and saving Bethany (and Wolfgang does have a positive effect on Mr. Baldwin to, who develops healthier habits and meets a neighborhood lady who bombards him with tons of unsolicited puppy advice and isn’t the least bit deterred by his grumpiness). So all’s well that ends well … almost. Brent is taken away and whether he’s incarcerated or institutionalized for psychiatric treatment, we don’t know, but the book’s final words are his, as he reflects that “SHE SAVED ME. I KNEW SHE WAS PERFECT. SOMEDAY I’LL BE OUT OF HERE. SOMEDAY I’LL FIND HER AGAIN. NEXT TIME …” (245).
Bethany saved Brent, but in the end, she may not have saved herself. Bethany has endured a dehumanizing and terrifying near-death experience, but there’s no way for us to know how that trauma has impacted her or how it might shape her life moving forward. She felt a stereotypically feminine obligation to care for Brent and keep him from taking his own life, even though he had few qualms about endangering hers, kidnapping and hurting her. This empathy is admirable, but in the end, it leaves her open to further violence. Brent’s obsession with her has not waned and in her kindness, she has validated his belief that she’s a good person (which is true) and there’s a special connection between them that means he has the right to “claim” her as his own (which is definitely not true). Brent’s continued fascination with Bethany casts a long shadow over the book’s happy(ish) ending, and we’re left wondering, worrying, and hoping that Bethany won’t someday be killed as a result of her own kindness.
