I agree with John Oliver. JD Vance gives off major couch-fucker vibes.
Source: Hollywood Reporter
John Oliver spent several minutes of his Last Week Tonight opening segment talking about the 2024 presidential race, but he devoted a good chunk of that time addressing the baseless rumour that J.D. Vance once had sex with a couch.
As you would expect, Oliver is no fan of Republican candidate Donald Trump‘s running mate for vice president.
“J.D. Vance sucks so much that it says something that for a few days this week, the Internet ran wild with a joke tweet that he was the first VP pick to have admitted in a New York Times best-seller to fucking an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions, with a citation to a page number from his memoir,” Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis, Oliver said on his HBO show.
While that is not actually true, Oliver opined that he could believe it might have happened.
Oliver went into some background of the story before finally contacting the Vance campaign to either confirm or deny the rumours. They hung up on him.
Oliver then said that his staff reached out to Vance’s campaign last week, asking point-blank if Vance “ever had sex with a couch.”
“They — and this is true — hung up on us, which is, and this is critical, not a ‘no,’ is it?” he said.
Follow-up texts and emails have also been left unanswered.
“But…look, who knows where this is going,” Oliver continued. “The news is moving so fast right now, the RNC was only last week, it was only two weeks ago that Trump was shot and there are so many variables between here and November. We don’t know who Harris’ VP pick will be. We don’t know which candidate will maintain momentum. The race is impossible to predict. But…until he tells us otherwise, I’m gonna assume that J.D. Vance fucked a couch.”
